Monday, December 25, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
Person of the Year
You may have heard that Time Magazine decided to name me as Person of the Year. That's right, me. Well, I guess you're Person of the Year too, but it's mainly me. See, Time put a little mirror on the magazine cover, so whoever looks at it obtains the honor. I've been going to every Borders in Omaha and turning the magazine around to make sure no one else can become Person of the Year.
You might have also heard that there's been a lot of controversy regarding their decision. See, I was selected as Person of the Year because of my contributions to society through the revolution that is known as Web 2.0. But some people think that rounded corners, light blue fonts, and mirrored images aren't as important to the news as other stuff, like North Korea testing the bomb, or whatever else is going on over there.
Well, I think they made the right decision. As Person of the Year, I have the intelligence and expertise to make this judgement. And I'm already taking advantage of the position for all it's worth. I've updated my resume, and am using my newfound title as a doctor would. Matthew Steele, PotY just rolls off the tongue.
And in the tradition of other award recipients, I have already engaged in illicit physical activity with the 1988 Planet of the Year recipient, Earth. And don't even ask what I did to the 1982 Person of the Year. Let's just say my computer's input slot will never be the same.
But I do have one problem with the award. I don't think it's the first time I've seen this...
You might have also heard that there's been a lot of controversy regarding their decision. See, I was selected as Person of the Year because of my contributions to society through the revolution that is known as Web 2.0. But some people think that rounded corners, light blue fonts, and mirrored images aren't as important to the news as other stuff, like North Korea testing the bomb, or whatever else is going on over there.
Well, I think they made the right decision. As Person of the Year, I have the intelligence and expertise to make this judgement. And I'm already taking advantage of the position for all it's worth. I've updated my resume, and am using my newfound title as a doctor would. Matthew Steele, PotY just rolls off the tongue.
And in the tradition of other award recipients, I have already engaged in illicit physical activity with the 1988 Planet of the Year recipient, Earth. And don't even ask what I did to the 1982 Person of the Year. Let's just say my computer's input slot will never be the same.
But I do have one problem with the award. I don't think it's the first time I've seen this...
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Wiiiii.....
So, I bought a Wii.
I decided that lines are for suckers, and standing in lines is for suckers with big coats and hoods. Granted this was after 3 Sundays in a row where I stood outside a Target or Best Buy to get one, but failed for one reason or another. But my point still stands. Suckers.
I decided to set up an overly elaborate and unnecessarily complicated system on the Internets wherein I would be alerted any time an Interweb retailer updated their Wii stocks, so I could be one of the people to buy it. One of the problems is that there's a lot of nerds on the Intertubes who had the same idea as me, so stocks of the Wii were snatched up faster than a kid near the Neverland ranch.
Eventually I beat those nerds at their own game, and bought one through Circuit City. It was great; I got an extra Wiimote and Nunchuck in order to break two televisions with it. And shipping was free through FedEx. Sweet, thought I.
Well, no one told me the free shipping was through FedEx's "SmartPost" system. Apparently the requirement to Post Smart is to be as dumb as humanly possible. Check out the route my package has gone so far:
And it started in Oklahoma.
:-(
I decided that lines are for suckers, and standing in lines is for suckers with big coats and hoods. Granted this was after 3 Sundays in a row where I stood outside a Target or Best Buy to get one, but failed for one reason or another. But my point still stands. Suckers.
I decided to set up an overly elaborate and unnecessarily complicated system on the Internets wherein I would be alerted any time an Interweb retailer updated their Wii stocks, so I could be one of the people to buy it. One of the problems is that there's a lot of nerds on the Intertubes who had the same idea as me, so stocks of the Wii were snatched up faster than a kid near the Neverland ranch.
Eventually I beat those nerds at their own game, and bought one through Circuit City. It was great; I got an extra Wiimote and Nunchuck in order to break two televisions with it. And shipping was free through FedEx. Sweet, thought I.
Well, no one told me the free shipping was through FedEx's "SmartPost" system. Apparently the requirement to Post Smart is to be as dumb as humanly possible. Check out the route my package has gone so far:
And it started in Oklahoma.
:-(
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)